Love? (Part 2)

by Noorjahan H.

*Publisher’s note: This is the last part of a fictional short story about a young woman who has the unwanted attention and “love” of a determined young man. He has threatened suicide if she turns him away. In this section, things shift dramatically.

I was on the phone with Omid.

Omid: You and your beautiful eyes are in my mind always. I can’t drive thoughts of you from my mind. You are all I think about.

Roua: I don’t have any feelings for you. Please forget me.

Omid: Roua, you are my future. We can make a future with our love. Please don’t make me sad. I love you.

Then he hung up.

I thought about his saying I was attractive and how much he loved me. It was hard to ignore someone who loved me so much. I went to sleep thinking of him. In the morning I woke up to the sound of an incoming message.

It was from Omid. “Roua Jan, my life good morning.”

I didn’t have anything I wanted to say to him so, I said nothing. But it didn’t stop him contacting me. Over the next year, every day when I went to and from school I saw him in front of his shop. Whenever he saw my face, he smiled. Every day I woke up to his amorous message. It was enjoyable just hear the sound of the message coming to my phone. If for some reason he didn’t send me a message I would be upset. I had fallen into a habit with him and now I loved him so much.

He was very special to me. He always told me that when I graduated from school he and his mother would come to my house with a proposal.

One day Omid called me and said that he would be away for a time from Afghanistan. He said his phone would be off. He promised again to come to my home and speak about marrying me with my family.

“Wait for me dear, Roua Jan,” he said.

Even though separation from Omid was hard to me. I accepted It and prayed for his return. Three months passed, and I didn’t hear about him.

One day my friend told me I could communicate with him on Facebook. I asked her to help me create an account and she did.

I send friend request to omid. After two days he accepted my request and I could check his photos and profile. I came face to face with a strange post that was upsetting. It said, “My dear brother and best friend, Omid Jan. Congratulations on your engagement.”

I couldn’t believe it. It was so difficult for me. I sent him a message and he called me four hours later. I was happy because it was the first time I had heard from him in four months. We exchanged messages:

Roua:Hi

Omid: Hi? I don’t know you. Introduce yourself.

Roua : I am Roua

Omid: But, Roua doesn’t have a Facebook account. Why did you create one?

Roua : Why can’t I use face book?

Omid: You can

Roua : Where are you????? Why is your phone off???

Omid: I told you. I am not in Afghanistan

Roua: Where are you????

Omid: I am in Turkey. I live with my uncle’s family. They have lived here twenty years.

Roua: Are you happy??

Omid: Yes. I am so glad to be here

Roua : But here is like hell for me without you. When you will came again??

Omid: I will not be back. When I came here my family had agreements with my uncle’s family. I am to marry my uncle’s daughter. I have accepted that arrangement. I have always wanted to live here. It was always my hope.

Roua: But you told me you would marry me. You told me to wait for you! Told me you couldn’t live without me! Did you forget all your promises? I can’t believe this. Please tell me it is all a lie.

Omid: It’s not a lie. It’s fact.

Roua: You prefer living there over living here with me. It shows you don’t value me. I believed you and love you.

Omid: You just fell into a habit with me. You will forget one day.

Roua: But Omid I can’t live without you. I can’t!

Omid: I am engaged, Roua, and I love my fiancé very much. I don’t want anyone else to come between us. Forget me. Don’t call me.

Roua: but you love me too ….

He hung up on me. I couldn’t send him a message because he blocked me.

Life was dark to me. Like hell. I was a baby, crying all the time. There was a deep pain in my heart. It was hard to live with such intolerable pain so finally I decided to kill myself.

I took all of my mother’s medicine and thought about Omid as I closed my eyes and went to sleep.

When I opened my eyes I was in the hospital. My dear mother and father were sitting beside my bed with red eyes and sad faces.

“Thanks to Allah!” my mother shouted when she saw I was awake.

My brother looked angry, but I realized he was just worried.

“Thank you God for giving us back our sister,” my sister said. Then she said to my mom. “I told you she would come round.”

I felt embarrassed and ashamed. I prayed and told God I was sorry that I had tried to end the life he gave me. I promised myself to forget about Omid for my family’s sake.

When I was back at home my mother asked me why I did it. I told her. She was angry and afraid and made me promise to never try it again.

When I was alone, I remembered Omid and cried from the pain in my heart. I tried to make myself busy by studying my lessons and preparing for the Kankor exam.

I tried so much day and night that I passed the exam and was accepted into Kabul University to study law.

I was happy to be successful in my favorite major and also be accepted into the best university. While I was at school, I always tried to get the highest score. I studied hard in quiet places or wore earplugs so I could focus. I found a best friend and we had a good time together studying and socializing.

During my final term at university my aunt sent me a proposal to marry her son. I old her that I was busy studying my lessons and had no plans to marry. But my mom wanted me to accept the proposal. She said it would a way for me to completely leave the past and make a better life in the future. Because of my mom, I accepted the proposal.

My aunt’s son has a good personality and is very wise. After we married we moved to America where we have been for four years. I work in a law firm and I am glad to have such a kind husband and now, a beautiful son.

Sometimes I remember the past and my adolescence and how my heart had been burned. I was glad that was all in the past. And glad that God accompanied me and didn’t leave me alone. He gave me the power and ability to continue my education and be successful. A bitter experience became a big lesson in my life. Life is beautiful when you believe in God as God gives you the best. When you fall down you may be one person but when you get up you are another. It is up to each of us to decide how use the new opportunities that become available.

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Afghan Voices

Writing by Afghan writers. Editor/Publisher: Nancy Antle; Editor: Pamela Hart