The Groans of a Grieving Mother After the Bombing at the Kawsar Danish Tutoring Center

A poem by Mohammad Zaki Zaki

Dear son
You are eternally lost
You are definitely gone
You are glumly missed
You are precipitously disappeared

Dear daughter
Your father is calling your name
Your mother is looking for you
Your sister is searching your phone number
Your baby brother is expecting to play games with you
But you never return
You will never be seen
Where are you to have dinner?
Where are you to do your homework?
Where are you to study at studying room?
Where are you to hear my voice?
Where are you to feed the kids?
I lost you forever
We can’t see you anymore

Dear son and dear daughter
It is time to go to the center
Let’s get ready for your class
It is time to start moving
The tea is ready to drink
The food is prepared to eat
I put the pen on your table
Your clothes are on the hook

I remember your goodbye
It was your last time
The last gaze at your face
You looked differently
Like a hurried vacationer
Your voice was despondent
When you said goodbye
I just said nothing
I accompanied you for sure
You walked slowly
Despondently and very drearily

When you left the house
You were looking backwards
I was just a spectator
I was just a reminder
I was just an accompanist
I wanted to have the last look at you
Your eyes seemed strange
Your beautiful face was just shinning
Where did you go?
You couldn’t be with me anymore
When I heard the breaking news
I got shocked very awfully
I called your phone
It was switched off
It wasn’t off as usual
In a while I received an urgent call
From a friend
He told about your death
I breathed very deeply
I sighed very heartedly
I keened to God emotionally
God was just a witness
Witness of your death
Witness of your corpse

Finally I have found you
Your arms were cut
Your body was bloody
Your clothes were red
Your notebook was torn
Your pen was broken
Your shoes weren’t there
Your card was hanging on your neck
Nobody could believe it was you
You have left us permanently
With pains and sorrows
With sadness and wails
With ambitious hope for future
With a world replete of miseries

Rest in peace dear siblings
I don’t believe that you are dead
I don’t know where you have gone
I don’t know what happened to you
I don’t mind missing you but
How should I forget your smile?
I don’t have you anymore
How should I satisfy myself?
How can I look at your vacant bags?
How should I check your study?
How should I fulfill your vacant place?
How can I imagine it?
How can I forget your memories?
How should I go home?
I can’t cease weeping
Rest in peace dear sons.

About the Author: Mohammad Zaki Zaki graduated from Kabul University’s geoscience department in 2016. He is also a Star alumni. Currently, he is a teacher at Star Educational Society (D branch) and Katib High School.

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